Sex Therapy
“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace.”
Are You Experiencing Physical And Emotional Intimacy Issues?
Is disconnection in your relationship leading to disconnection in your sex life?
Do you feel rejected, embarrassed, or confused when exploring your desires?
Is physical pain or past trauma preventing you from finding pleasure in sex?
Whether you and your partner are newly dating or have been together for years, sex is an important element of your connection. As the barometer for your relationship, sex reflects what is happening on an emotional level between you both. If you are experiencing frustration, hurt, or resentment as a couple, the distance has likely grown and contributed to the detachment you’re feeling.
There may be elements of your past that impact your ability to be intimate. If you experienced trauma or wounding in other relationships, you might have trouble trusting your partner or letting go of inhibitions. Unable to be fully vulnerable, you may not enjoy sex as much as you’d like.
On the other hand, physical issues could also impact the sexual intimacy between you and your partner. Maybe sex is painful, awkward, or unsatisfying. Perhaps you’ve been diagnosed with a physical condition—such as erectile dysfunction or a pelvic floor disorder (such as vaginismus)—but were unaware that sex counseling could help.
No matter the reason behind a lack of intimacy, disconnection from your sex partner(s) can make you feel alone and broken.
Even If Your Relationship Is On Solid Ground, You May Be Curious About Introducing New Elements Into Your Sex Life
It’s possible that the emotional connection between you and your partner is strong, but you’re looking to explore new possibilities in the bedroom. Maybe you’re curious about kink, enhanced pleasure, or other erotic fantasies. Or perhaps you’re interested in opening up the relationship to add another sex partner or become polyamorous. If you’re queer, gender nonconforming, or an otherwise non-heteronormative couple, you may be seeking a culturally competent perspective to help you foster mutual understanding within the relationship.
Sex is a complex but essential component of every partnership. If you are experiencing sexual intimacy issues in your relationship or could benefit from counseling, I am a certified sex therapist who can help.
Myths And Misconceptions About Sex Keep Us In The Dark About The Value Of Pleasure
Due to its hushed and taboo nature, sex can be a difficult and sometimes embarrassing topic to discuss. As a result, there is a lot of misinformation that is perpetuated about sex. Not to mention, most of the education we receive on the matter comes from school, religion, or porn.
For women, this misinformation has translated into a sense of shame about feeling strong desires or wanting to explore their sexuality. For men, sexual expectations and performance typically revolve around erection and ejaculation. Our puritanical society places a high value on stringent gender roles and stigmatizes masturbation. And it goes without saying that this stigma extends into areas of kink and fantasy.
Unfortunately, there is not much awareness when it comes to making sex pleasurable for all parties, and many of us don’t know how to gauge what is “normal” or healthy. The more we struggle with intimacy in our relationship, the more we become sexually—and emotionally—frustrated as a couple.
Yet, sexual intimacy issues are extremely common. A majority of relationships encounter obstacles to intimacy, and studies show that desire discrepancy—or differences in arousal and frequency—is the most prevalent sexual concern among couples. ¹ Many women report feeling the need to have sex “out of duty,” and it’s not uncommon for couples to feel like they’re in a rut, having sex in the same two or three positions for the duration of the relationship.
If any of this sounds familiar, sex counseling can help. Working with a nonjudgmental therapist, you can explore your sex life either as an individual or a couple in a meaningful, fulfilling way.
Counseling Can Demystify Sex And Help You Achieve More Satisfaction
You probably don’t have very many chances to explore the topic of sex in a safe, objective atmosphere. Yet, sex therapy is an opportunity to ask questions, openly discuss your desire, and receive individualized feedback about your intimacy issues.
As a certified sex therapist, I can help you repair wounds from your past and create new possibilities for a more satisfying sex life. Whether you’re in counseling as an individual or as a couple, I will provide you with the resources, knowledge, and problem-solving skills needed to help your sex life thrive.
The Therapeutic Process
Counseling begins with a general intake that will allow me to understand more about your relevant history and goals for sex therapy. During our first session together, we will create the objectives that we can monitor throughout counseling to help you track your progress. Yet, I will always keep an eye on the big picture to ensure that we aren’t missing anything relevant to your healing.
Much of counseling is spent demystifying sex, unlearning roles, normalizing your desires, and letting go of shame. I will customize the therapeutic process to honor your experiences and address your specific goals. With the insights you gain in counseling, you’ll better understand yourself, your partner(s), and the importance of emotional connection and physical intimacy.
Being more sex-positive means practicing self-care. When you can fully embrace the sexual and nonsexual elements of your relationship, you’ll be able to listen and communicate better. I have witnessed many of my clients repair and strengthen their connections through sex counseling, and I am confident I can help you too.
Maybe You’re Interested In Working With A Sex Therapist, But You’re Not Sure If Counseling Is Right For You…
I am too embarrassed to discuss my sex life or desires in therapy.
We have all been conditioned to feel a little bashful or awkward about sex, so you are not alone. However, I assure you that whatever you bring to therapy is more common than you think. And it’s my job as a sex therapist to create a safe, nonjudgmental environment where you can feel safe to be vulnerable.
Being nervous is usually a part of this process, but it’s my experience that the more time clients spend in counseling, the more comfortable they become.
I want to go to sex counseling for couples, but my partner isn’t interested.
If your partner is not ready to commit to counseling, we can still do some very valuable work in individual sex therapy. However, the therapeutic process will likely benefit the relationship more if both partners are present.
If your significant other is hesitant about therapy, encourage them to come to one session to determine if we are a good fit. And let them know that sex therapy is not just about sex—it’s about the many issues in your relationship or marriage that impact your ability to be intimate.
We don’t have the time or money for sex therapy.
Intimacy and relationship counseling is an investment—though I may not be able to predict the amount of time you’ll spend in therapy, most couples spend about six months in sex counseling. While that may feel like a big commitment, I try to be very flexible in my ability to schedule, offering daytime, weekend, and evening availability.
If cost is a concern, it’s important to note that I do not accept insurance. I will, however, provide a superbill if you are in-network with an insurance provider who offers reimbursement.
Approach Your Relationship From A Sex-Positive Perspective
If you struggle with sexual intimacy issues as an individual or in your relationship, counseling can help you achieve a healthier, more fulfilling sex life. To learn more about how I can help as a certified sex therapist, please schedule a free phone consultation or reach out via my contact page.
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