Emotional Pain Following Sexual Pain

If you are experiencing painful vaginal intercourse, you are not alone. Sexual dysfunctions are largely underreported, not often discussed, and may not be taken seriously. Though many women experience tightness, dryness, burning, itching, or excruciating pain with intercourse, they feel very alone. The emotional toll can be just as high if not higher than the physical.

1. I Am Broken

The internal dialogue that begins when intercourse is not possible or when it comes with pain is, “I am broken”. Women experience intense sadness, guilt, and sometimes shame when they feel like their body is failing them. Painful intercourse is not acceptable, but this does not mean you are broken.

2.Hopelessness

The first person women often turn to for support and guidance is their gynecologist. Unfortunately, there are times when women are not heard, not taken seriously, or are given suggestions that are not helpful for them. Other times, even when the body is able to recover from the pain, the mind is stuck. These situations create a feeling of hopelessness.

3. Anxiety

The anxieties around sex can quickly develop, but can feel impossible to fade. There is anxiousness around sexual pain, sexual performance, possible disappointment, or fear of failure. When the mind is anxious, the body is also tense (which is a pain factor). When sex becomes a stressful, negative, or disappointing experience, it is often avoided.

Sexual dysfunctions are not only physically painful, but emotionally devastating for one or both partners. Start communicating these thoughts and feelings with your partner, your doctors, and people in your support system. Women are often surprised to learn there are people around them experiencing similar struggles.

And for a holistic approach to these complex issues, contact me for a consultation. My experience and education in the area of sexual dysfunction can address all of these common emotional and relational side effects.