Marriage can be hard. It takes sacrifice and hard work to keep it going. Marriage can be similar to a machine - if it is not well oiled and maintained, it can tear apart any couple.

And unfortunately, one of those things is often sex. When a marriage becomes sexless, it can be very frustrating for both partners. Although, neither of them may speak this out loud.

Sustaining a healthy life sex in your marriage is important. But, what this looks like for every couple will differ. For some couples, it's perfectly fine to only be intimate a few times a month. While others may need to have this intimacy at least once or twice a week if not more.

Whatever the case is for you, know that you aren't alone in this. Even though that spark may be gone right now, it doesn't mean it always be. Yes, it is very possible to repair a sexless marriage. Here's how.

Begin By Talking About Sex

The conversations that we need to have are often the hardest ones to begin. One of the ways that any issue within a marriage often begins is due to a breakdown in communication. Healthy communication skills are crucial to the health of any relationship. When you are successfully and honestly communicating with one another it can help to strengthen your bond.

If you and your partner aren't being intimate, open up the conversation to ask why. Express why you are concerned about this and let them know of your need and desire for something more. Sometimes being vulnerable is scary but it's a necessary part of any relationship.

Don't Be Accusatory

Often times, that spark of intimacy is lost in a relationship through no one person alone. When you do decide to open up this conversation, don't place the blame on them or yourself. This isn't a competition of who was wrong more, or who didn't do what. Relationships are a balancing act.

Even if you have sneaking suspicions of why intimacy has left your marriage, you should let the conversation get started before bringing up these points. It can only make things worse if things become too accusatory on either side.

Increase Your Intimacy In Other Areas Of The Relationship

Of course, when most of us hear the word intimacy, we often first think of sex or being physically in touch with someone else. But there is so much more to it than just sexual intimacy.

Emotional intimacy is really crucial for a relationship, as well. So while there may be other underlying issues that are causing a lack of sex, that doesn't mean you can't at least start here. Increasing the emotional bond you have with your partner is sometimes enough to begin increasing the sexual intimacy of the relationship as well..

Quality time, such as cuddling on the couch, cooking and eating dinner together, talking over a cup of coffee in the morning, or a date night, can all help you feel more emotionally connected with your partner. You may not even realize how emotionally disconnected you two were until you begin to find small ways to increase it.

More Ways To Repair A Sexless Marriage

Try as we might, sometimes, a marriage needs more help than we care to admit. And while it is possible to repair any marital issues with just our partner, that won't always get us the progress we want to see.

It can feel very intimidating to think about asking for help in a marriage from a therapist. But, as a licensed counselor, I have helped many couples overcome the issues they were facing within their marriage. Including a loss of sexual intimacy. Sometimes all you need is an outside perspective. I am here to support you with couples therapy when you are ready, so feel free to contact me whenever you are ready.